Computers might be able to take over some of what a doctor does, but they sure can’t do this.
Last week, Reddit user mcharb13 posted a photo of a handwritten note from a doctor that he said has changed his life. It’s a condolence note that was sent to his father by an emergency room physician at New York Presbyterian Hospital who had treated his mother, he told the Huffington Post. His mother had breast cancer and died several hours after being taken to the ER.
In the note, the doctor explains that this is the first such note she’s written in 20 years of ER work (the name of the doctor was omitted from the photo, but Redditors seemed to think it was a female, based on the handwriting.)
“Our encounters are typically hurried and do not always allow for more personal interaction,” she wrote. “However, in your case, I felt a special connection to your wife, who was so engaging and cheerful in spite of her illness and trouble breathing.”
The note struck a chord with at least 2.1 million people and prompted more than 1,300 of them to leave comments. Many of the comments have come from people who have also lost parents, and many have come from physicians as well.
One said:
They don’t train us how to deal with the human element of our job very well. Most react by developing a deep callus over their hearts. Some of us are down-right evil in how jaded we’ve become. I’m sure other healthcare workers can testify. So, it is a true testament to your parents relationship for this to pierce beneath that callus. Whatever they were doing, apparently, they were doing it right. It sounds like you have a couple of great parents. Copy them.
Another wrote:
I pray to God that when I make it as a trauma surgeon, I do not become desensitized to the sometimes inevitable loss of life of my fellow man or woman, nor desensitized to the joy of saving or helping to improve the quality of life of my patients.
It’s a reminder that, even in the digital age, bedside manner and compassion go a long way.
[Photo from Reddit user mcharb13]
By Deanna Pogorelc MedCity News
Deanna Pogorelc is a Cleveland-based reporter who writes obsessively about life science startups across the country, looking to technology transfer offices, startup incubators and investment funds to see what’s next in healthcare. She has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from Ball State University and previously covered business and education for a northeast Indiana newspaper.More posts by Author
Huh? Has anybody ever seen such beautiful handwriting from a DOCTOR?
No physician has handwriting that legible. Whole thing is bogus.
Such a kind, heartfelt note. He/she is to be commended,
such communication is discouraged at all levels of hospital "leadership"....... generally.
such letters are used in court, ROUTINELY, as bits of evidence of "guilt".
this doctor used perfect prose to avoid the guilt pitfall..... a testimate to his communication skills.
I would love to be able to apologize for the very few things I have done "wrong" during my 20+ years as a surgeon..... I would love to be able to simple express being "sorry" for the disease state, in which so many of the sick find themselves.
for all intents..... it is a strict "no no" to say sorry in any context to a patient.
Huh? what wrongdoing is the doctor admitting to? Why should a doctor have to avoid guilt in the first place for taking care of a terminal cancer patient who dies? I think you're putting your experience in place of what's being discussed in the article.
By the way, Apologies go a long way and many institutions have learned to embrace them. You may have missed the 34 or so states that have made doctor apologies inadmissable in court.
@KurtBrewster you are cold if you do not understand that he was an SOB simple as that. That patient that was terminal was my dad.
@KurtBrewster @Kevin Douglas Berg okay I be bad. Sorry
@Kevin Douglas Berg @KurtBrewster I'm confused. Doc Who Cuts was replying to the article not you? I'm not sure how I became a part of your story. I was referring to the article. So please leave me out of your issue. Thank you.
When my dad was fighting for his life with CANCER and my mom was alone. The Dr. that was in charge of his care told my mom, in front of my dad that HE WAS GOING TO DIE. It might have been the truth, but it was hardly needed at that time.
When I met this guy, we asked him one question about if my dad could take something for this or that? He said and I quote "IF YOU WANT HIM TO DIE SURE." Luckily this was after my dad was wheeled out for my X-Rays. My 2nd oldest sister pointed him out to me.
I did have a face to face with him and he told me the same thing. I asked him if he can sleep at night and face himself in the morning? He told me yes. I asked him of being such high intelligence, and understanding of what is happening to my mom at this time, how he could even say that to her without anyone around her and in front of the patient that he was so under his "care?" He said well it was the truth.
I then told him he is one Sick SOB to tell that to my mom being alone and nobody with her at the time. He then told me it was true, no matter what we do, my dad is going to die. I then said wow you are one evil person to think that and I am going to get your removed from taking care of my father, due to your lack of respect for his life and attempt to help him survived. I again asked him where was his heart, compassion and your Hippocratic Oath that you promise to adhere to? He had nothing to say in response.
Then my mom asked him why can you be so cold. I told my mom not to bother, he is truly beyond repair. We did have him removed from caring for my dad. This Dr. should be removed from practice for dereliction of duty and lack of care. It took us a lot of effort to get him removed.
My dad did die unfortunately and all of the Docs that were taking care of my dad at the time were very gracious and reached out to my mom. I know there are good Docs, I have 5 in my extended family, but when you have a bad one, well it ruins it for the rest that dedicate all that they are for the well being of their patients.
@Kevin Douglas Berg When I get a doctor, I interview him (her) to be certain that the doctor would be forthright and honest with a condition that I may have. If the doc believes that I will die in a day, he MUST say so directly both to me and my wife. You r requirement is the exact opposite. You and yours do not have the strength of character to face reality. "A valiant taste of death but once , a coward dies many times!"
@ARooster @Kevin Douglas Berg Sir or Ma'am, You called yourself a ARooster so I will address you as such. ARooster, number one, I was out of town, number two; it was a Dr.'s Intern that waited on my dad. That intern was under the Dr. and it took many things to get him removed after about 3 days. Luckily my mom had a relationship with one of the management of the hospital.
The luxury of being able to interview Dr. is a wise one and I have done as well selecting my son's pediatrician. When you arrive at the hospital and the Dr.'s intern is seeing him as well, and then what do you do? Would you think or have thought about being able to interview him or her. Would your Dr. allow you to do that?
(Maybe that is a lesson you can take away from this)
I sort of understand the message, but read the above and please see if you understand the very unfortunate situation I and my mother were placed in. I am not saying he was not going to die. I am not saying that he could have lived. All I am saying is that, bedside manner is almost as important as being able to be treating the patient.
What was needed at the time was "We will do what we can do, but it is really far advanced, and he does not have that much time."
Wouldn't that be much better than "He is going do die." Also he said it again to me in that matter of fact way. (I have 5 Dr.'s in my family; please do not tell me that I do not know what it is like to be one. They are great women and men and have great bedside manner. One tells people that they do not have very long to live everyday)
@ARooster @Kevin Douglas Berg That is a great question you ask. If you are alive due to the guy with the -10 bedside manner, then you understand which of the ones to praise. A great bedside manner with not having the added expertise of that Dr. and no praising having to be done at all due to you possibly not being around.
@Kevin Douglas Berg
@ARooster
I concur with your further expanded comments.Things can be said to mean the same thing but could be done very diplomatically.In the situation in question the manner of saying things could very well been - and should have been – as you suggest.The same message would have been said but in an appropriate manner under the circumstances.Some persons have the gift of diplomacy and some do not.
The surgeon who performed my suddenly complicated bypass surgery, had (and has) a bedside manner that on a scale of 1 – 10 would rate a minus 10.Yet he is said to be the best cardiac surgeon on the entire western side of N. America.My wife hates him and yet is eternally grateful for his work.My cardiologist, who is very competent, had no idea of the complications that would arise, has the best bedside manner of any MD that I have met.My wife really likes him!So, whom do I condemn and whom do I praise?
Thank you for this heartfelt article that has brightened my day. Just one more person this physician has touched along her way. May she be a guiding light for all of us in the healthcare service field.
we tend to glorify when a doctor does such things.. but let's remember these types of letters and support are given by other health care workers.. like nurses.. i am in awe at how much they do, how much they are overworked, exhausted yet keep going and how little they get paid to do it and how much of their heart and soul they put into their work.. they write letters like this and no one seems to care or make it viral..
@Healthjustice Please, don't let any positive news go to waste without victimizing someone else. Great job.
@Healthjustice Really? That's your response to an act of goodness... gee whiz...
@aimee @Healthjustice lol ..listen all I'm saying is that it is over glorified when other people are doing sooooo much more and giving sooo much more and do not get any credit or understanding.. there are true angels out there..I am grateful for all the positive and thank the lord for it everyday....and simply put this is not as big as it is being glorified to be.. .. (and when speaking from an intellectually, educated, cerebral level.. part of him writing that letter was so that he would get closure for himself, for his needs, it does not have anything to do with the patient.. sorry to burst your bubble but that's what it's root was about..it did help the doctor grow and be more compassionate at the cost of her..). I won't respond anymore if you don't understand what I am saying, but if you get what I am saying then I'll be open to discussing it with you.
Within any human endeavor, there will be a bell curve of behaviors. There are doctors who do not share emotions but many who do. When those emotions are shared, it makes it better for all involved but especially for the physician him/herself. God bless.
@becincPI some doctors must "feel" less...... and perform robotically for optimal results.
My son was one and passed out in ER due to dehydration, was airlifted to pediatric ICU. The doctor on ER duty who authorized the 911 chopper ride to the ICU, called us 2 days later to check on the baby. He was really worried that the baby won't make it. I still remember his name ten years later.
@RxMacDuff It is uplifting to see that there are Drs who practice with their heart. My husband does:)
@LindaGroom_LV Good to know REAL doctors are still around, still care and do the right thing. Kudos to your husband, Linda!
@RxMacDuff Love it!!
@Dawg_Girl47 Cool! Glad you do! Doc brings it! =D
Wow....this story sure is comforting after a week of following the nightmare case going on right now in Philadelphia with Doctor Kermit Gosnell - a man who truly let evil take over his heart.
Lets not miss the point here. It makes no difference how much money someone makes makes or weather it's right to have faith in something other than yourself. The world changed a tiny bit for millions because this doc took the time to love other people. That's the only comment anyone of us should have, really. Good for you, doc. Others may not, but today you did your job Really well.
IN THE COMMENTS FROM REDDIT at the bottom of the article....the guy who hopes to "make it" as a trauma surgeon but still believes in praying to GOD....buddy if you have received the amount of scientific training to become a surgeon and still believe in jesus and noahs ark....you have some screws loose and shouldn't be cutting open anybody
Nothing wrong with having faith in God and being a surgeon. His faith actually qualifiies him more in my book.
@edgeliver100 Why does everyone that might believe in God have to be a Christian? Some Atheists never miss an opportunity to go for the narrow minded view.
@KurtBrewster @edgeliver100 "Why does everyone that might believe in God have to be a Christian?
Good question. But the answer is pretty simple really. Only Christians, esp Catholics (I'm not one!), can be picked on in this culture without fear of retribution. Easy targets.
@edgeliver100
Wow! What a hater! Perhaps Dr. Ben Carson could explain the life of faith and science to you. His faith seems to have enhanced his medical ability. But, some among us would never acknowledge, or even recognize it. Sad indeed...
Live and let live. He's not cutting on you anytime soon anyway. And, if you someday need this guy's expertise THEN you can decide if his faith disqualifies him. I have a feeling that at that moment you won't much care... Just hope he's not a hater too! In fact, his faith may make him a better, more compassionate medical provider than he would be otherwise...Win/Win!
I agree with you.
@edgeliver100 I'm saying this as a fellow atheist, so take it for what it's worth. But why must people like you take cheap shots at people's religion? Let them be. "Your rights end where others' noses begin." There is no reason to be a jerk about it... Don't believe in God? Fine. Believe in God? Fine too. The world has enough hatred in it for you to be spreading more.
@DiscotHarvey You sir, have spoken with wisdom beyond a lifetime.
We are starting to use more and more data to measure "quality care". Although significant improvements in care will improve thorugh this, the most important factor must not be overlooked and is very difficult to measure: relationships.
Fake, doctors cant write that legible
Yes they can, when not hurried. I am a doctor with excellent penmanship.
@ruinraider LOL! I was teasing my doc, an old friend, a few years ago about his writing. I told him i couldn't have gotton out of the 3rd grade with writing like that and somehow he's writing me a life and death script? Go figger...
@LaurieBICP @medcitynews Read ER MD letter to patient gone viral
Prison for mean bullying and aggressive doctors is in order. I'm tired of mean 2 minute visits by doctors making 2 million a year and bullying patients.
@mgauss Not only do they not make anywhere close to the ludicrous amount you mention, a large percentage of any physician's salary goes to medical malpractice insurance. Not because doctors are getting less skilled but because Americans LOVE to sue. Litigiousness is rampant in this society and it winds up costing us all, both in money and in the loss of good physician's who decide NOT to practice in certain specialties. In this country, regardless of how competent you may be as a doctor, it is a guarantee that you will be sued, at least once, over the course of your professional lifetime.
@mgauss
What doctor do you know that makes 2 mill a year? What concern is it of yours how much they get paid? They only work 90 hour weeks. Prison? Really? 2 minutes? Really? 20 minutes is the standard and even that feels fast, but with free health care, something has to give. Salary is only supply meets demand you know. If others want that salary they can go to 4 years college, 4 years med school 7 years neuro residency, 2 years fellowship, 80-100 hour work weeks. Sounds fair.
@mgauss If you think most doctors are making 2 million a year you are dreaming.
@anon @mgauss 2 million seriously??? Research before you post the avg salary a physician makes along with the years spent and the amount of student loan debt plus the endless hours worked. ....
Maybe this will put somethings in perspective. Our Vet. routinely sends handwritten sympathy cards to the owners whose pet has died or one that had to be put to sleep. Interesting that Vets understand the deep love and connection that people have to their pets.... all the more that regular doctors should understand the even deeper love and connection that we have to our loved ones. You know your big, fat file that the doctor carries into the examining room with them.... it should have a picture of you and your name in big letters on the front.
@barbarabreitz People don't love other people. :)
This note reminds us that above all, we are dealing with fellow human beings, in whatever work we are doing.
Thank you for the RT @salma_patel I hope all is going well :-)
@S_Amani Yes, thank you :) Hope all is well with you too!