Policy

The Onion accurately describes level of understanding on both side of the Obamacare debate

You know that your industry is having its moment in the national media sun when Jon Stewart, Saturday Night Live and The Onion are all talking about you during in the same week. We need all the laughs we can get as we wait for insurance exchanges to launch (or not) while we simultaneously wait […]

You know that your industry is having its moment in the national media sun when Jon Stewart, Saturday Night Live and The Onion are all talking about you during in the same week.

We need all the laughs we can get as we wait for insurance exchanges to launch (or not) while we simultaneously wait for the government to shut down (or not).

This “news report” from The Onion makes deadly accurate fun of fans and foes of Obamacare.

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SEATTLE – As debate continues in Washington over the funding of President Obama’s health care initiative, sources confirmed Thursday that 39-year-old Daniel Seaver, a man who understands a total of 8 percent of the Affordable Care Act, offered a vehement defense of the legislation to 41-year-old Alex Crawford, who understands 5 percent of it.

According to reports, Seaver mounted an impressive case given his severely limited knowledge of the actual law itself, bolstering his 8 percent understanding of the Affordable Care Act with his 6 percent awareness of the nation’s current economic landscape. Crawford, meanwhile, demonstrated just about the full extent of his understanding of Obamacare by claiming that its provisions could potentially kill jobs.

Sources confirmed that, if asked, neither man would actually be able to correctly define the term “HMO” or coherently explain what a health care exchange actually is and how such a thing would actually work on a regional basis.

Over the course of the next half hour, the two men used their full comprehension of what reportedly amounts to several sentences at best of the Affordable Care Act to debate many facets of the 906-page piece of legislation. On separate occasions, sources said Seaver and Crawford both claimed to have done “a lot of research” on the subject.

The two men, whose collective net understanding reportedly makes up, in a generous estimate, little more than one one-tenth of the entire Affordable Care Act, then repeatedly volleyed back and forth over the constitutionality of the law—a matter that sources confirmed they have a roughly 0.000001 percent knowledge of.

At press time, both men’s understanding of Obamacare had dropped to 3 percent as a result of the debate.

These are only the best bits. It’s definitely worth your time to read the whole thing.

[Image from flicker user Jetheriot]

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