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With a nod to Krispy Kreme, 4 more awkward healthcare partnerships I’d like to see

Healthcare facilities and drugstores have established a history of awkward healthcare partnerships, so here are some ideas for a few more.

Krispy Kreme and children’s healthcare do make strange, ill-conceived bedfellows.

It’s not the first healthcare facility to get into bed with a company more frequently associated with health problems like obesity than health solutions. Look at the hospitals with a McDonald’s. The number is far less than it used to be —  Cleveland Clinic recently ended its dealings with the burger chain — but others continue, as Robert Vaughan notes.

It bothers me to no end that Rady Children’s is partnered with McDonalds…they have a restaurant in the hospital! https://t.co/6wKGoDKCv4

We’ve also seen it happen in reverse. CVS rebranded itself CVS Health, and patted itself on the back when it dropped cigarettes — which have had declining sales, anyway. It’s also adding telemedicine and healthcare apps. But it doesn’t seem too interested in ending sales of beer and wine as well as sweets, high sodium meals and snacks. How many healthcare clinics sell alcohol, I wonder, no matter what the medical benefits are?

In a short parody, here are some ideas for equally awkward healthcare partnerships.

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Altria, the company behind PhilipMorrisUSA and others, collaborates with the American Lung Association to commercialize technology supporting patients with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. COPD is closely linked to smoking and is the third leading cause of death in the U.S. By backing remote monitoring technology to detect when people with COPD show signs of an infection at its early stages, it could also provide treatment earlier and reduce hospitalizations. Win win.

National Rifle Association Trauma Centers with Tenet Healthcare Guns kill people. People kill people. Whatever. Gun violence is a public health issue and requires some deep pockets to develop innovative procedures for caring for the poor unfortunate people victimized by ill-advised gun use. What better partner than an integrated health system with a national presence.

CocaCola partners with Janssen Diabetes Center to sponsor diabetes innovation challenge Well? Wouldn’t you like to see that?

E&J Gallo Winery Heart and Vascular Care Center at MedStar Red wine, maybe even white wine, are good for heart health. U.S. wine sales are on the rise. Add to that the trend of non healthcare companies moving into healthcare this seems like a logical step. It could also include a wine bar for visitors. If drugstores are in the alcohol business (they sell growlers at Duane Reade for pete’s sake) why shouldn’t hospitals be there too? In fact, it’s already happened at Clermont-Ferrand University Hospital Center.

It just goes to show the challenge of doing these kind of parodies: truth is stranger than fiction.